Do you feel like you’re living the life you were made for? That’s a tricky question because you may really love your life yet feel that it’s not what you were meant to be doing. Finding your authentic self is a difficult journey and then getting what you want and need can be just as trying.

You’ll often hear people talk as though everything fell into their lap once they started on their path to their true selves, and that’s probably not exactly correct. Typically, there is still work involved in achieving your goals, but it’s work you enjoy and work that fills you with happiness and satisfaction. 

One thing that’s remarkable about becoming more yourself is the transformation you’ll see in your friendships and other close relationships. Once you let go of false impressions you put out there to please others and focus on being yourself, the stronger those true relationships will be.

How the steps to authenticity strengthen friendships

As you’re on your road to becoming your most authentic self, you’ll notice that the steps you take not only strengthen the friendships you have, but they make you a better friend to others. Here’s how the steps you use to discover the real you affect your relationships.

Understand your life story

Truly understanding who you are means knowing your present and your past. You can’t live with a fictionalized account of your life and be your true self. This means acknowledging both the good and the bad parts of your life and your role in those events.

The real learning comes with how you have dealt with life’s challenges. What experiences have had the greatest impact on who you are? What moments do you cite as your best and your worst? All of these insights help you create your narrative, which defines how you see yourself and how you’re likely to respond and react to future events. 

This step not only gives you insight into your life and your reactions to current situations, but it also opens you up to empathy. When you understand what factors could be involved in shaping who you are, you are more able to understand why other people react the way they do. 

Daily self-reflection

Focusing daily on the things that are important in your life; past, present, and future lets you focus on what matters and let go of the small things we tend to get obsessed with. 

This meditation or mindfulness actually changes your brain. If you’re focused on events throughout your day and stay with that mindfulness for several minutes a day you develop an ability to handle stress and anxiety much better.

In terms of relationships, this ability to focus on what matters makes you less likely to get caught up in drama and minutia. It’s also easier to have relationships with other people when you have less stress and anxiety in your life. This is a positive step toward focusing on building long-lasting ties.

Seek honest feedback

It is possible that you can learn the most about yourself from others. We all have ideas of who we are, but our ideas are filtered through our own lenses. 

Asking others for their honest impressions of you can be hard, for both parties, but the information is invaluable. The trick is learning to take the information and not be defensive about it. 

The power of this moment in any friendship is one that deepens the bond to a level of true honesty. While you’re not expected to do this with everyone, simply having that level of acceptance can strengthen all of your relationships. But it’s the understanding of yourself that you gain from this feedback that can really help you be a better friend and be more understanding of others. Once we own our own flaws it’s easier to accept flaws in others.

Final thoughts

Learning to embrace who you are doesn’t just strengthen your appreciation of yourself and your self-love, it opens you to loving and accepting others. Imagine coming from a place of understanding your own flaws and strengths. Once you realize that people, starting with yourself, are incredible and wonderful even if they’re not perfect, then you see the world in a different way. 

While strengthening relationships and friendships is a delightful side effect of being truer to yourself, the primary goal is to seek greater contentment and acceptance.

The more authentic you are, the more adept you are at embracing the things that matter most and letting go of the things that are holding you back. It’s a win/win all the way around.